3 Stages of Self-Evolvement

Christina Frei

I think it’s really great that you do a few minutes of meditation, some breath work, maybe some tapping (EFT), and even some yoga.  You are self-aware. Doesn’t it make all the difference?

On those days with WAY too many meetings, a pile of client work, and unforeseen mess-ups, you REALLY need that calm and self-awareness, right?

Well, you can do MUCH BETTER than a bit more calm. Calm is a stop-gap, not a goal. It’s Stage 2 of the 3 Stages of Self-Evolvement.  It’s not the end-game. Here’s what I mean.

I have discovered 3 stages of Self-Evolvement. 

Stage 1: THE PRODUCTIVE ROBOT
You’re a good person. You want to please everyone, you have a sense of right and wrong, and you just function. Go. Go. Go. Sleep. Rinse and repeat.  People trust you, but this stage breeds exhaustion and resentment. You wonder if people take you for granted. Also, there’s not much of a healthy ego here.  It’s like splatting your energy all over without much self-awareness. (Note: much of the planet operates here)

Stage 2: PERSONAL SANCTUARY
It’s time for some you-time.  You pause and go within. You breathe. You get to know yourself. It can be fascinating stuff, since you are so multi-faceted.  You find self-compassion, which might open up some creativity.  Many things that were confusing are explained.  “Oh, that’s why I do that. That’s why she does that.”

Often, your personal practice is a haven from the rest of the world. You have calm understanding while your eyes are closed. But then you need to go back to “reality,” and that can be unpleasant.  Your ego gets defined here in a healthy way. “I’m a being!” “I have needs,” “This is who I am,” are the common catch-phrases. This level has an underbelly: it can turn into long-term navel-gazing. Am I right?

Stage 3: EVERYBODY WINS
What if you could tie your own inner presence with a positive outer impact? Wouldn’t that just blow your mind?  How about a personal practice that builds self-awareness AND builds a bridge to the wider world? You decide how to be a contribution in a way that feels really good to you, and you ACT in contribution. So everyone wins. When you open your eyes and join the world, you are excited to partake, and you don’t get bamboozled into giving it all away, like in Stage 1.  You can draw on this delight and generosity all day long.  This is Generosity Practice.

When was a time where you naturally gave and it was happily received and everyone was happy and there was a magical, glowy feeling? Like that.

More about the practice.