The Challenges of the Generosity Practice

Christina Frei

I’m feeling resistant to this process. 

There could be many reasons for this. But one place to start is the basics.  It has to feel good to you and it has to feel real. So check on 2 things: 

  1. Are you conjuring up things vividly? Can you feel it? 
  2. If not, working on basic visualization techniques. 
  3. Are you choosing things that really feel good to you? 
  4. If this is a challenge, go back to the prompts. They will make it easy to choose something. 

I can’t seem to focus

Listen to the recordings. Sign up for a session with Christina.  Get out a journal and write it down. Use a Generosity Practice check-in page. 

My anxiety is back.

So it’s time to re-up. It’s an opportunity for even MORE generosity. Use your will and keep going. Come back to the question: what would feel good to offer to life today? 

I couldn’t I gave the world sleep when I couldn’t sleep.  Melanie

My dog, Lou. I love dogs. The generosity they have, the tail wagging, the warmth they can give.

I gave away small balls of tension. I felt tense all day today.  A problem I’ve been struggling with has been going on, I did the practice, 15 minutes later a friend called, and the problem is gone.  Melanie

Phoning It In: If things get a bit mechanical, you stop offering your brand of awesome all day.  This is usually because there wasn’t enough quality time spent LANDING the gift.  Right? Because when you land your true offering for the day, it’s EPIC. You shift. Something opens. You get tears in your eyes. You magnetize awesomeness towards you.

If you think you don’t have time, remember that your day flows from your offering. Take the 10 minutes to land something vivid and true and set the tone for the day.  It’s a different day.

And anyway, who wants a day without your bonkers amazing gift? Not me. Hee hee. As basic as this practice is, it’s not always easy. Here are some common challenges and their de-bugs:

1.  I don’t know what to give out.

Exactly. That’s been a challenge for much of the civilized world. Many people don’t know what they want to contribute to the world, and try really hard to figure out how to help. Maybe they’re haunted by the question on their deathbed. Most know they want to make a difference.

It’s much easier to live as a contribution if you already feel like one now. Why wait?

When you take a few moments and get real about this, you activate yourself as a contribution and everything flows from there. What do you want to give out? What feels good to offer to life today?

When you land it (and there’s usually one thing that trumps all the rest), you are stepping into a new way of being. You’re the rockstar who walks in certainty about the contribution she makes. Hot diggity.

So give yourself time to try a few things.

You can use the prompt questions. What would you offer to a friend going through a tough time? What one thing would change the world for the better? What gift would surprise and delight you? Etc.

2.  I give things out, but it feels contrived and artificial.

This is where your willingness to feel things comes in (and I don’t say that lightly). What supports you to really sink into a feeling state, even if there’s pain there? Here are some ways I recommend:

  • Place your hand on your heart and breathe gently into it.
  • Go on a short walk.
  • Have a bath.
  • Get a massage.
  • Snuggle with a pet.
  • Do some yoga.
  • Do a workout.

When you do this practice, you want to feel centered and grounded in your heart. Otherwise, your thoughts are just nice ideas that don’t change anything.

Studies show that we can imagine things so vividly, that it affects our bodies (for example, basketball players who imagine sinking the shot do it easily in real life without physical practice). The key is to actually feel it.

This usually requires some slowing down and some self-compassion. So take it easy, breathe, and keep asking, “What feels good to offer to life today?”

3.  I’m too tired to do the practice.

Friendly reminder that the question starts with “What feels good?” not “What do I have to…?” And when you land THE THING, it energizes you like crazy. You know this, right?

It helps to have some FAVORITES that you can give out on those low energy days. What are your favorites? (mine are cups of green tea and small books of wisdom. Others give out peace, smiles and positive energy waves.)

STAGE 2 of the practice is about having the courage to give out ANYTHING, not simply the nice things. If you’re irritated, you’re probably going to give out different things than when you’re content and happy. That’s perfectly OK. So open the door a little wider to possibilities you might not have considered yet. What feels good to offer to life today?

4.  I can’t seem to focus

No problem. I made recordings for you! Enjoy being guided within the 30-Day Generosity Practice Mastery Program.

Get out a journal and write it down. Use a Generosity Practice check-in page.

5.  Connecting to Life Feels Overwhelming

The key is to feel connected to something bigger than yourself. It really doesn’t matter how.

Consider imagining one person, someone you care about. Does that connect you to the universal?

You could imagine a newborn baby. An adorable fawn. A friend in need.

So, my friend, what feels good to offer to life today?